Okay, there’s finally a light at the end of the tunnel with my latest work project, so I thought I’d write to tell you all about my latest morbid obsession. Has everyone heard about Jade Goody? She’s an infamous 27-year-old U.K. reality television star who was diagnosed with terminal cervical cancer and has been allowing her cancer treatment to be filmed to be broadcast as a series in the U.K. She had a highly-publicized wedding ceremony last weekend where she married her convict boyfriend (also a reality show star), who was allowed to spend the night with her before being placed back on home arrest. The wedding was filmed and will be shown on U.K. television. Goody says that she is selling the rights to the footage on behalf of her two young sons; it will be used to finance their education.<\/p>\n
Although she was able to stand during most of the wedding ceremony, in the last week since the wedding, Goody’s condition has continued to deteriorate. She has spent the last couple of nights in a hospice after she was hallucinating terribly on her pain medications. She has been given maybe six weeks to live, but she seems convinced that it may only be a week or two. I check the news every day to see the latest updates… about someone I didn’t even know existed two weeks ago!<\/p>\n
You see, like most (all?) of us, I have long found terminal illness – especially when it strikes the young – exceptionally captivating. I can spend hours on My Death Space just perusing all the cancer victims and reading their diary entries. It’s fascinating to watch their tragedy unfold: the early, hopeful posts about how they are determined to “beat this thing,” the valiant battles with sickness caused by chemotherapy and other treatments, the hopefulness giving way to an unbearably sad realization that the treatments are not working and they are going to die, the final goodbyes. Sometimes, there are no final goodbyes: just a void in their communications followed by the words of a loved one telling you that they passed away on a certain day at a certain time. After reading an entry like this, I’m always left with a sense that, as Morrissey once said, “time is a mere scratch” and that I should get off my lazy ass and make something of myself before it’s too late. And then I inevitably go back to sitting on my lazy ass again.<\/p>\n
So I will continue to follow the daily updates regarding Jade until her weary heart stops beating. And then I will be sad, but life will go on without her. Not very fair, is it?