Today’s Inexpressible Yet Truly Morbid Fact!
Henry Moore’s Complete Protestant Martyrology (1809) gives a horribly detailed account of the death of Dr. John Hooper, Lord Bishop of Gloucester, who was burned for heresy during the reign of the Catholic Mary I in 1555:
Being now in his shirt, he trussed it betweeen his legs, where he had a pound of gunpowder in a bladder, and under each arm the same quantity. He now went up to the stake, where three iron hoops were brought… The iron hoop was then put round his waist, which being made too short, he shrank and put in his belly with his hand; but when they offered to bind his neck and legs he refused them, saying, ‘I am well assured I shall not trouble you’ … Then the reeds were thrown up, and he received two bundles of them in his own hands, and put one under each arm.
Command was now given that the fire should be kindled; but, owing to the number of green faggots, it was some time before the flames set fire to the reeds. The wind being adverse, and the morning very cold, the flames blew from him, so that he was scarcely touched by the fire. Another fire was soon kindled of a more vehement nature: it was now the bladders of gunpowder exploded, but they proved of no service to the suffering prelate. He now prayed with a loud voice, ‘Lord Jesus, have mercy upon me; Lord Jesus, have mercy upon me; Lord Jesus, receive my spirit’: and these were the last words he was heard to utter.
But even when his face was completely black with the flames, and his tongue swelled so that he could not speak, yet his lips went till they were shrunk to the gums; and he knocked his breast with his hands until one of his arms fell off, and then continued knocking with the other while the fat, water, and blood dripped out at his finger ends. At length, by renewing of the fire, his strength was gone, and his hand fastened to the iron which was put round him. Soon after, the whole lower part of his body being consumed, he fell over the iron that bound him, into the fire… This holy martyr was more than three quarters of an hour consuming, the inexpressible anguish of which he endured… moving neither forwards, backwards, nor to any side: his nether parts were consumed and his bowels fell out some time before he expired.
Culled from: The History Of Torture
From which only one conclusion can be drawn: Jesus hated that guy.
Holy shit that was descriptive