So I just stumbled across a handgun lying in the grass. I was super-excited for a second!!! I thought, “Wow!!! A MURDER WEAPON!!!!” and I was all ready to call 911. Then I examined it closer and found that it was a BB gun… and a broken one, at that. Figures. Will nothing exciting EVER happen in my life? I took it home – it could come in handy if I ever want to commit suicide-by-cop.